Here Without You
by knightskye
Summary: RevanBastila oneshot songfic


Here Without You  
Disclaimer: I disclaim ownership of Knights of the Old Republic I&II  
Disclaimer: I disclaim ownership of the song 'Here Without You' by 3 Doors Down  
Authors Note: I'm so sorry for not updating in forever. School started, and marching band season just piled up. But now, marching is over, so I'm hoping to get back to you all. Hope ya like this one.  
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A hundred days had made me older  
since the last time that I've saw your pretty face

Master Vandar Tokare sat at the council table, listening to the concerns or several concerns of people, Jedi, and other masters. He watched as the towns people slowly left but the Jedi remained. He knew what most of their concerns were. He waited silently before one Jedi, Juhani, stepped forward, leaning on the grand wood table.

"She has still not come out! And all of you just sit here, not caring!" She shouted in her thick Cathar Accent. Master Vandar sighed deeply.

A thousand lights had made me colder and I don't think I can look at this the same

Bastila sat on her bed, room engulfed in darkness with the exception of a single candle, leaning against her wall, staring off into the black nothingness. Her eyes seemed blank, as if she wasn't really there. Her light saber had been discarded from her person, laying limply on the floor opposite of her, abandoned. Her mind ticked away slowly, gears in her head moving slowly, one notch at a time.

But all the miles had separated  
They disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face

Master Vandar shook his head, clearing his thoughts.  
"Juhani. We understand you're concern, but Bastila is probably fine. She must be doing the smart thing, resting herself after such a long journey, which is what you should be doing too!" Master Vrook Lamar interrupted, but everyone in the room knew it was a lie. Juhani closed her eyes, features pulled into a tight frown. Master Vandar shook his head again, resting his elbow on the table and his palm against his eyes.  
"You may leave now Juhani, and along with the rest of you." Master Vandar said slowly. All but Juhani left.  
"Juhani, leave now before the consequences become too severe." Master Vrook growled out, causing Juhani the turn her back to the council and slowly leave the room. She stopped at the door, and without turning back left the Masters with her parting words.  
"If you do not help her now, you may lose one of the greatest Jedi you have."

I'm here without you baby  
but your still on my lonely mind

Bastila's eyes seemed dead and lifeless, most of the blue color fading away from her blue-grey eyes. They flicked over to a picture frame on her table, regaining life momentarily. On the table was an old wooden picture frame with an old fashioned picture in it. There they stood. Together. He had insisted on buying one from a pitiful-looking shop owner on Dantooine, saying that they were better than holograms. The glass holding the picture was cracked and broken, pieces laying on the table. She stared at the pictures, tears silently making their way to the surface and falling down her once graceful features. She had lost weight, and paled considerably. Her hair was greasy and dry at the same time, losing its beauty and shine. The force , the only thing seeming to keep her alive. Her clothing was tattered and ripped, exposing her skin.

I think about you baby  
and I dream about you all the time

Bastila's fragile body shook, sobs escaping her. Her voice sounded strange to her, cracked and unstable, just as Bastila herself. She numbly felt herself stand, bones weak and causing her pain. She slowly tried to step from her bed to the ground, only to fall with a loud crack to her body. The tears continued to come as she attempted to get up off the ground, drawing nearer to the picture, and her discarded light saber. She heard herself cry in pain as her arms couldn't support her to crawl. She felt her chin smash into the hard floor arms and legs bent and pained around her.

I'm here without you baby  
but your still with me in my dreams

Juhani stormed down the hallway leading to Bastila's room. The atmosphere seemed to darken with every step she took. Fists tightly clenched at her sides, she turned the final corner to face Bastila's room. She looked to see that the controls to enter the room were smashed, not allowing anybody access. She cursed out loud before looking at the heavy durasteel door. Juhani then turned and walked away, sighing.

And tonight it's only you and me

Bastila cried on the ground, looking up at the picture. She tried again, pushing herself up with her arms onto her knees. She was stable for a moment before falling, knees aching. She told herself over and over that she could make it, that she could get up and go to the table, but she knew it wasn't true. She slowly crawled on the ground, body objecting with every move, over to the table. She used to last of her strength to swing her arms up and knock the picture off of the table onto the floor next to her, glass shatters falling onto her skin. She slowly pulled the picture out of the frame to in front of her face. She let sobs wrack her body as she looked at the picture. How happy she was. How complete she was. How it all just fell away like a great Manaan Tidal Wave washed it away.

The miles just keep rollin'  
as the people either way to say hello

Bastila's eyes widened as she looked at his face. She wondered what he would look like now. What _they_ would look like now, together. What life would have been like if he was there. If life was worth it now. She stopped at that last thought, glancing at the picture in a different light than before. Was that what she wanted? To be with him again? She wasn't sure. She forced herself to crawl back to her bed, leaning against it. Was life worth living without him? She asked herself, staring at the picture as if it was her lifeline.

I've heard this life is overrated  
but I hope that it gets better as we go

Juhani walked back to the door, Masters in tow.  
"This is what she is now!" She shouted at them, making them sense the darkness of the atmosphere and the smashed door control. Master Vandar lowered his head, pressing his hands to his face so as to keep his emotions inside. Master Vrook frowned.  
"This is her own doing." He said coldly, turning away from the door. Master Vandar looked up before walking to the door, pressing his hand against it.  
"She…is not dead." He said feeling a sigh of relief wash over him.

I'm here without you baby  
but your still on my lonely mind

Bastila's fingers played over the picture, over him. She cried more, letting it all sink in. She still had glass pieces all around her, glinting in the candle light, taunting her, mocking her.  
"I want you." She whispered, voice choked with tears.  
"I want to be with you." She whispered again. She turned her dead eyes to the glass pieces, slowly letting herself pick one up. She played her fingers across the smooth but sharp surface, eyes tracing it's outline.

I think about you baby  
and I dream about you all the time

"I fear for her." Juhani said, sliding down the wall to sit on the ground. Master Vandar shook his head in agreement, sliding down to sit next to her.  
"I do not want to barge into the room with force just yet, I feel it is the wrong moment for such actions."

I'm here without you baby  
but your still with me in my dreams

"Should I join you my love?" Bastila whispered, letting her head fall back against the bed to look up at the dark ceiling.  
"Should I join you in this dark redemption?" She asked again to the silent room. The candle flickered, seeming to answer Bastila.

Everything I know,  
and anywhere I go  
it gets hard but it won't take away my love  
And when the last one falls,  
when it's all said and done  
it get hard but it won't take…  
Away…  
my love…

"Master…" Juhani said, feeling something bad was about to happen.  
"I know Juhani. I can feel it to." He said, slowly standing up and dusting himself off before igniting his yellow light saber. He stood in front of the door, light saber raised, waiting for the right moment.

I'm here without you baby  
but your still on my lonely mind

Bastila smiled sadly as she set the picture of them in her lap, taking the glass piece and placing it gently on her wrist.  
"Maybe I will join you, my love." She said sweetly, in a coarse voice. She slowly brought the blade across her upper wrist, not even feeling the pain. She couldn't feel the physical anymore, only her emotional turmoil.

I think about you baby  
and I dream about you all the time

"Master Vandar!" Juhani shouted, knowing something was wrong.  
"Not. Yet." He said, letting his light saber come to rest at his side.  
"Master Vandar. She will take her own life, and you know this!" Juhani shouted, standing up and running at the door, wanting it to open. Both she and Master Vandar knew it would take more than a couple of light sabers to open the heavy doors of the enclave.

I'm here without you baby  
but your still with me in my dreams

Bastila closed her eyes, letting a single tear fall out as she slid the glass across her other wrist.  
"I'm with you now." She said faintly before letting her body slump back against her bed. The picture in her lap, bloodstained and wet, glowed faintly in the candle light.  
"You let her. . . You let her do this!" Juhani shouted at Master Vandar, igniting her two light sabers and slashing away at the door, forcing it to open. She gasped at the sight she found.

Bastila's double bladed light saber lay on the floor in front of Juhani and Master Vandar, the single candle in the room still burning brightly, casting shadows on everything. Past all of this was Bastila, photo in her lap, bloodstained and wet, glowing faintly.  
"She does not have to dream now."

And tonight girl it's only you and me


End file.
